


What Happens In Prison Doesn’t Always Stay In Prison For Long

by Sweetysweetssugarytreats



Category: Gintama
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Fanfiction, Multi, Otae-centric, Shipping, Weirdness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-11-02 00:22:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20558378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetysweetssugarytreats/pseuds/Sweetysweetssugarytreats
Summary: “What are y’all in for?”“Murder.”“Robbery.”“Pyromania.”“Writing slash fanfiction.”





	What Happens In Prison Doesn’t Always Stay In Prison For Long

**Author's Note:**

> The world can be such a stupid place sometimes.
> 
> Also Otae is great and I *had* to just write something with her.
> 
> Also please just pretend this might be real because I don't know how holding cells or prisons function _-_'

Otae is a kind soul.

She is smart, affable, genuine, lovable, broad-minded, charming, determinate, passionate, optimistic, reliable, confident, understanding, warmhearted, hard-working, fearless, compassionate, bright, and of course, most of all, modest.

(At least she likes to think of herself this way)

Which is precisely why she doesn't understand why she is currently in prison.

Or inside a holding cell, as one of the police officers pointed out to her- not so kindly might she add.

While they were handcuffing her, they explained the reason why she would spend a night behind the bars. And she had laughed so hard at the reason she accidentally head-butted one of the officers with the back of her head and sent him to the hospital. It's fine though, he wasn't that well-liked by the others so Otae wouldn't suffer any consequences.

It is not her fault though! The reason is just so absolutely ridiculous that her reaction could be nothing else but pure, unbriddled laughter until she couldn't almost breathe! It is only natural to laugh at ridiculous situations after all!

So, now, in the small and bare - and she has to say surprisingly clean - cell, she is torn between snorting at the circumstance she finds herself in or maybe cause a scene in a fit of anger. Well, that'd be childish, but it also might turn out to be effective.

Oh, also, she is not alone.

There are five other women currently occupying her 'temporary home'. They mostly seem to be in a state of bored daze, like she is, although there are some differences between her and them. For example their state of clothing. They go from one who wears a t-shirt that says 'Drug Free (_I ran out yesterday)'_\- making Otae wonder just where would you buy that shirt and thinking of getting one as a prank for her little brother's birthday - to one whose appearance just screams _I was born in the Jurassic Park era_ _and a way to cover important bits of your body didn't exist back then!_

But Otae has never been one to judge anyway, so when she sees one of her fellow inmates doing a very _specific_ gesture with her mouth and two of her fingers at one of the guards there, who seems to be intrigued by it, she simply turns her head the other way and minds her own business.

But it seems minding one's business is _not_ at the top of the list this fine night.

"Yo." The low and almost threatening voice comes drawling from the other side of the cell. "What are y'all in for?"

They answer one by one:

"Murder."

"Robbery."

"Pyromania."

"Writing slash fanfiction."

At Otae's answer, not only the people, but the _air _inside the building seems to freeze over, like the most terrific crime a human could ever dare to commit was just made known to all.

In the beat of a heart a _swoosh _comes beside her and four of the five women have taken their distance from her.

Otae tilts her head towards them and blinks in confusion.

One of them gasps in fear.

Otae furrows her brows, puzzled.

Another one almost faints.

Otae clears her throat. "What-"

"I'm gonna die… this is it." Another woman mutters –prays? – in apparent fear. "I didn't even mean to steal the billion yen! Forgive me if I just wanted to be rich at someone's expense! I can't die like this! I've always thought about dying rich and get killed by sleeping with someone's wealthy husband… also in my fantasy he's younger than me by ten years… this is no way to go! I can't get killed now!"

Otae raises a questioning eyebrow. "Okay, just what is going o-"

"Hey!" She is suddenly interrupted by the only girl who didn't move away, on the contrary she just inched closer. "They fear you!"

"…Come again?"

It looks like this girl wants to make a joke about a double entendre- but restrains herself. "Because of your 'crime!'" She whispers excitedly.

Suddenly Otae hears a little c_lick _in her mind and realizes just what is happening.

With a quick turn of her head and her lips curling up in a subtle smirk, Otae gives a curt nod at the women in a way she has seen criminals do in movies, hoping to appear dangerous. "That is right… you shouldn't cross the likes of me."

Three of them all plaster to the walls in fear, one looks like she might just pee right there and then.

The other girl, with light purple hair and glasses, just giggles in delight.

Otae has never been one for the spotlight, nor has she ever felt the want or need to. She has always been mostly happy living her life on the 'sidelines'…but she certainly can't deny she likes this new feeling of power coursing through her. Oh, yes, she could definitely get used to this.

"I do too!"

Otae's attention is pulled away from her current 'victims'. "Excuse me?"

"I write slash fics too!"

They hear a _thud, _signaling the woman from before truly fainted.

"Really?!" Otae is immediately filled with joy, this being one of the very first times she meets someone else who shares her… well, passion.

"This is the first time I meet someone else who does too!" To her delight the girl seems to be just as excited as she is.

"It's the same for me!"

The stranger holds a hand out for her to take. "My name is Sarutobi Ayame, my friends call me Sacchan." The grin on her face widens. "And something tells me we're going to be good friends!"

Otae's own smile is just about ready to split her face when she gives her hand a firm shake. "My name is Shimura Tae, everyone just calls me Otae. And I'd really like that."

They hear a mutter coming from the other side of the cell that distinctly sounds like 'Oh Kami-sama, we're all screwed, someone please headbutt me this instant', but they decide to ignore it.

"So." Ayame begins with a curious glint sparkling in her eyes. "Inspired by real people or fictional characters?"

Otae thinks about her two best friends and about their friendship, and how it's not a _friendship_ at all but a _romance_ they are literally the only two souls in the entire universe who can't see it for what it is, and all the frustration that has built over the years inside of her because of it, and how she needed to let it out in a way or another instead of just knocking their heads together and screaming at them that 'yes, they have feelings for each other, and no, it is not exactly the most normal activity out there for _simple_ _friends_ to cuddle naked. Multiple times.'

Otae nods after her train of thought. "My stories tend to be centered about… real people, for the most part."

"Ooh, _daring_, I like it!"

She smiles at Ayame's smirk and nods to her. "What about you?"

The girl crosses her arms and nods too, appearing thoughtful. "Hm, I'd say fifty-fifty. I mostly make up stuff, but you know when you have close friends that just drive you mad and you don't want to kill them even though they're the stupidest-"

Otae claps her on the shoulders and leans in, staring intensely. "Do not _even._ I know _exactly _what you mean."

Ayame blinks, one, two, three times, then she almost sniffles, touched. "…I don't know how I spent so much time keeping this to myself." Then in a bout of sudden affection she hugs Otae. "Where have you been my whole life?!"

Otae smiles in what feels like relief and hugs back just as tightly. "I could ask you the same thing!"

This touching bit- well, _touching_ for them, one of the other women is trying to dig a hole through the wall with a plastic spoon to get as far away from them as she can – is interrupted by one of the guards.

"You and you." He points at them in turn. "You're free to go."

The girls look at each other in a momentary moment of bewilderment, then both stand up in glee.

"Bye girls, it was nice meeting you!" Otae waves at their inmates (one is still passed out) because it's always polite to say goodbye to people, right? Even when they are terrified by your every word?

"S-Stay away from me you monsters!"

"…please spare my soul from these dangerous entities…"

"Well, I'd say it was fun." Ayame tells them with a plastic smile, which turns to an arrogant smirk. _"Not_. Bye losers."

And so they make their way outside, following the guard along a long (ha!) hallway.

"Wow, for someone having the guts to commit homicide she was surely chickening out at one look from you." Ayame comments on the way.

"People can be so confusing sometimes." Otae laments with a sad shake of her head.

"Or very stupid."

"No objections to that."

It is not long after that Otae finds herself face to face with the two familiar faces who just happened to bail her out while Ayame goes to find her own savior.

"Thank you boys." Otae smiles innocently at them, as if nothing is amiss.

Not like Otae is the best judge of character out there, but Gintoki and Toshiro's faces give the impression of being just _slightly_ unimpressed.

"What kind of trouble did you get in this time?" Gintoki asks as a way of greeting while Toshiro is sighing and muttering something under his breath.

"Me? Trouble?" Otae feigns shock with a hand over her heart and betrayal in her eyes. "Do you know just who you are talking to?"

Gintoki pretends to look to the side, considering. "Oh, let's see, are you the girl who organized a protest in kindergarten that lasted a whole month just _because_ that kid you liked didn't let you borrow- no, sorry - _steal_ his drawing pencils?" His expression falls flat. "Then yes, I know exactly who I'm talking to."

Well, there is the option that Otae could tell them about the story she wrote and posted the day before. It involves characters centered around them sharing one 'explicit'- as one of the police officers called it – kiss while getting dressed - no not after _that_\- in an empty changing room, since their teammates had already left, after a tough basketball game that made them somehow discover their feelings for each other. Which is perfectly legal in her opinion and doesn't require for her to be put in prison over it, but, oh well.

"…I'm in for pyromania."

No, Otae won't tell them. She'd probably carry this to her grave.

Gintoki doesn't look convinced. "I call bullshit."

Otae doesn't care. "Call it what you want, but please let's get out of here now. I skipped dinner because of my very 'dangerous' crime."

Otae knows that when food is on the line Gintoki's focus is all zeroed in on delicious meals, so with a grumble he starts listing a few places they can go to, and the questions drop. She will have to find a way to placate Toshiro's suspicions too though, in a way or another, but that will have to be taken care of after a full stomach. She really wasn't lying when she said she skipped dinner.

After a brief introduction of _'this is my new friend'_ and _'good for you Otae, you found a prison husband'_ and _'no, what you mean to say is 'prison wife''_, Ayame joins their little group for a late dinner, that ends up turning to an early breakfast.

When they end up finally making their way home the girls are already talking about keeping in contact, among other things.

"Maybe we could collab on a story?" Ayame is the one to bring it up, already full of ideas.

"I'd love that." Otae answers sincerely, though she thinks she already knows what most of these 'ideas' might involve. "But no bondage."

What? Otae is an _innocent_ soul alright?

"Just a little bit?" But Ayame doesn't give up, of course. "Only a tiny itty little bit that I will take care of personally writing?"

"…Alright." Otae relents in the end, because you only live once, right? And hey, at least she doesn't have to actively participate in writing that scene. But her thoughts come back full-circle from the story to the night they just spent. "We might end in prison for that, though… again."

Ayame simply puts a hand around her shoulders and smirks, rivalling the threatening sneer of the girl who asked the reason why they were 'locked up'. "Oh, I can't wait to scare our new inmates with a detailed description of the many and _creative _uses of a rope then."

Otae sighs half in wonder and half in exasperation, but she can't deny her curiosity. "…Oh boy."

* * *

Two weeks later the girls are behind bars- again.

Well, they certainly were expecting it this time at least.

"Yo." Like a deja-vù, the (new) low and almost threatening voice comes drawling from the other side of the cell. "What are you accused of?"

And the cycle repeats itself once again.

"Murder."

"Robbery."

"Vandalism."

(Oh, that is a new one.)

"Writing slash fanfiction." Otae and Ayame's answer comes at the same time.

Two of the three women are plastered to the wall in the blink of an eye.

The woman–or is it a man – with a ponytail and an eye-patch looks at them in interest, and Otae thinks she can almost see awe in his -her?- eyes.

The brunette sighs and shakes her head. Well, this is getting old…- oh, who is she kidding? She loves seeing the absolute dread in their eyes, relishes in the power she holds over the other criminals. She is actually already considering writing another story _just _to invoke fear in new fellow 'prisoners'.

"Hey, I read the two-shot you posted last week." Otae hears one of the guards talking to Ayame, his hair is falling over his eyes so his expression is not that clear. "It was _spicy_. And I'm not just talking about the food challenge that started it all."

Ayame gasps in shock. "A man who's not afraid to admit he enjoys reading about two other men having their way? Where has this gem been my whole life? And he must be protected at all costs!" She whispers to Otae - or to herself? – in excitement.

Ayame stands up from the not-very-comfortable bench they are sitting on and strikes up a conversation (flirts shamelessly) with him as Otae nods in understanding, unfortunately she must say she has not found many men to openly talk about, well, this _passion._ In their defense she has not found many women willing to admit it out loud either.

Not for the first time, Otae thinks it's sad how the world makes people believe in what they want to believe only for it to turn out to be more closed-minded than accepting.

She barely catches Ayame's whisper of 'I have a whole unknown world of ideas that are just waiting to be discovered' to the guard, making him smirk.

(A month later Otae would find Ayame and that same guard- Zenzo, she learns is his name – working on their _passion, _if that means being passionately intertwined on her couch with clothes halfway down their bodies after writing a very _detailed _piece about an OT3, but that is a story for another time.)

When Gintoki and Toshiro show up bail them out, again - except for the fact that Ayame seems to be just the slightest bit obsessed with Gintoki for some reason, they had gotten along pretty well, and were even becoming friends - their faces are just as expressive as last time. Which Otae still can't 100% comprehend, but once again she thinks they might be just a tiny bit unimpressed.

"What's the reason this time?"

At Gintoki's question, however, Ayame is the one to answer. But Otae and Toshiro have no idea what, because she drags Gintoki to the side and whispers something in his ear. Otae doesn't know Ayame is explaining to him the plot of her new _detailed _story that Gintoki and Toshiro were the inspiration of.

So Gintoki refuses to look into Toshiro's eyes for the whole ride home.

Toshiro is steadily getting more and more confused every time he asks a question and Gintoki ignores him, only to turn just a bit more scarlet with the passing of minutes.

Otae keeps thinking about just _what _her new friend could have possibly whispered in his ear to make Gintoki have such a surprising reaction.

Ayame is already working on another _detailed_ story.

**Author's Note:**

> This happened after I read a ridiculous (and sad) article about how women in China were actually ARRESTED for writing fanfiction, be it explicit or slash… but imagine your parents/friends coming to bail you out of jail and when they ask you the reason you just go 'I write about very *dangerous* stuff'. I was talking about it with my mom and holy shizznizel we just couldn't stop laughing. But again, it's really stupid actually, and honestly said.
> 
> ...And then I understood where all the memes about Niall being Team Captain of Larry and chatting with other inmates about writing fics came from…. man, and here I thought it was all fun and games.


End file.
